Why I Left My Job
Hey Friends! Today I wanted to share a bit of my heart with you. I’ve mentioned in the past that I recently left my job. I wanted to talk about that a bit more. I have been drafting this post for awhile now but kept holding back. I
have had am having a hard time putting my thoughts altogether. Also, I do not want to make my reasons sound like ‘everyone should do this’. That is the last thing us moms need is more mom guilt or judgments.
With that being said this is why I left my job…..
From the beginning…..
I have never desired to work full-time as a wife and mom as long as I could remember. Completing college and choosing a degree path was very important to me. It was not out of an aspiration though but more a security. I wanted a job that served others, provided for my family, and that provided flexibility. I loved working in my career field. In my perfect world, I would be working part-time as a radiography text in the cath lab again with part-time childcare. Sadly, that is not an option at our location. It is more an all or nothing that has pushed me out of my comfort zone. Maybe that is why God has placed us here.
I want us to be the largest influence on my son…..
You know how they say time is money or you spell love t-i-m-e? Being away from my son 45+ hours a week greatly limits the influence I have on him. The influence I have to teach him values, respect, and love. I above all want to point him to the Lord in all of these ways. I also want to discipline him in love. These are things that do not happen at daycare. They do not teach them values and cannot discipline them (yes, cannot even put them in timeout). Furthermore, while I like his teachers I truly did not know how they acted while I was away. Did they smart off and yell at them? Did they use words I would not want my son to hear? Were they rolling there eyes and giving the children attitude? Children mimic us on every little thing and while I certainly fail as being an example it is something I strive to do my very best at. I want us to be this influence.
I want to better serve my husband…..
I get some eye-rolls and lip for this one but it is my firm stance on the matter. I WANT to do this. I do not have to. I enjoy cooking my husband three meals a day, packing his lunch, washing his clothes, and cleaning our home. This does not make me weak but makes me strong. I continued to do these things while I worked full-time but it was stressful. Our nights and weekends were packed with shopping, cooking, clean, and meal planning. Weeknights were often for grad school work or cooking after Mason went to bed. Our family time just was not there. If I did sit still, I would find myself going crazy thinking of all the things that ‘needed’ to be done. My husband did and still does help. I do not have to ask him to unload the dishwasher or fold clothes. While is does not hurt for him to do these things. I hated though that I could not serve them more.
Family bonding and stability….
My husband works very hard. He often has crazy hours or has to be away for a long period of time. I want to be the stability of the family for both my son and my husband. In transparency, this is also something I can struggle with. The fact is my life, where I live, the job I have or do not have all revolves around them. Selfishly this can be taxing but it is also what I want. I know I am a
bit lot complicated. Also, I have seen the bond other families have in our situation and I want that. Not to compare but I do believe some things are common factors for a reason.
I felt lend……
Most importantly I felt that God was leading us to take this jump of faith and trust in His guidance. I am not going to lie the financial and sanity aspects of this decision were tough. What about our retirement? What was our living expenses? Will we ever be able to go on vacation while I am not working? What about Mason’s college? Then it was….What if I go stir crazy? What if Mason is bored? Would he rather be around other kids? Would I rather be around other adults? So many questions and concerned but when we tried to answer each one I felt that God kept pointing us back to Him. Leaving my job allows for more time to serve not only my family but in the church as well. Both of these are very important to me.
Now is this to say that every mother should stop working or that God calls all mothers to stop working. Of course NOT! Not every mom even wants to stay home and that might just be okay with them and their family. Each family has their own set of unique circumstances and needs. We live far (like an ocean away) from friends and family. We have no outside help. We basically have one option for daycare (it is not cheap either) and my job choices here are few (not terrible pay but very set hours). Taking all these factors into consideration has brought on this choice for us.
Thank you for letting me share a piece of my heart and thoughts with you today. It really means a lot to me. =)